One day you are a loving housewife and the next you are worthless. One day you are a strong, beautiful woman and the next you are ugly and weak. One day you have a home and a family and the next you are survivor of domestic violence in the world on your own.
The majority of my marriage was a blur. It is difficult to remember anything that had happened. Bits and pieces of the abuse will come to me in traumatic flashbacks. The one day that I do remember like it was yesterday is January 7th, 2017. The day I went from victim to survivor.
Imagine laying in your bed with your one year old daughter, not knowing if you will both make it to see another day. Difficult right? Now, imagine the reason for this fear is because of someone who is supposed to be your protector. Even worse? This is domestic violence. This was my every day until 7th, 2017.
On January 7th, 2017 a friend of mine was worried for my life. She had contacted the police in hopes that they would be able to help me. They arrived at the scene. My abuser was there, pretending that there must have been some sort of error and that he was a loving husband who was cleaning up the house and cooking me breakfast for when I woke up. This was not the case. I was upstairs, curled up on the far corner of the room with my one year old daughter, not knowing what was going to happen next. The police leave the scene and contact the friend that initially had contacted them. Within 3 minutes, my abuser had left and the police are back at my house. Glass shattered all over the floor, broken picture frames and couches flipped. I am holding my baby, shaking. The police tell me to pack a bag including any medications and identifications so they can get me to a safe place.
I did just as they said. I made it to a safe place, got a job and rebuilt my life with my now three year old daughter.
My goal is to help others rebuild their strength that has been torn down from their abusers. It will not be easy but is worth it. I have a tattoo on my right forearm with the date January 7th with a compass and lotus flower. The compass is a reminder to keep following the right direction and the lotus flower is the only flower that can bloom in the dark. The past 2 years has been a dark time as I rebuild my life as a single mother and survivor. I do need constant reminders that one step in the right direction is always progress. This tattoo is always a conversation starter with new people that I meet. I love sharing parts of my story. It inspires me to continue on this journey as a advocate for domestic violence.
I am forever thankful for these officers that had helped my daughter and I that day. If it were not for them, I may not be alive today. Fortunately, I am alive today. I am a domestic violence advocate and am able to help hundreds of women become survivors.